Topic of the day: Goodbyes
Are we ready to say goodbye to our loved ones? Can we think about this and not be sad?
Everybody goes through these moments in life and in most cases we are not ready for that. There are many reasons for this and one of them is the attachment that we create for others. Sometimes even the feeling of possession, or perhaps we just take them for granted and do not expect them to leave us at some time in life.
We intimately know that every person has a different path to go through in this life, and sooner or later we will be following different roads. Sometimes people will stay for a very long time in our lives, for example, our relatives, wives/husbands, sons/daughters, or even good friends. And in other cases, they will leave us sooner than we expect.
There is also the case that we meet interesting people and create strong connections for a short time, for example during a trip, and even those connections being intense at that point, they might end up abruptly, which can make us sad.
The death of a beloved relative or friend is also another example of goodbye, and this one being even more intense because we can’t do anything about it. Death is generally an avoided topic in many cultures. I guess this might have to do with our family traditions, habits and religion. Anyway, I think we should prepare ourselves for the end of life, not because we don’t want to live life. Exactly the contrary in my opinion: we should live life to the fullest and create meaningful moments as often as possible. That is the way we remember our dear relatives who already left this world. I have intense memories of my dad, grandpa, grandma and brothers who I spent part of my life with and are already died. But I just keep the good memories and moments that we spent together.
Don’t wait until a certain point to do something if you can do it now, if you intimately wants to do it but is facing internal resistance. Don’t wait until it is too late. You probably can make much more now than you are currently doing.
Another case of goodbye that I have lived in the past years is the temporary goodbye: that one in which we are far and will come back again at a certain point but we are not reachable for a weekend visit for example. In my case, that I’m living abroad for quite some time, it’s always good to visit my friends and family when I return, and although I’m not that close, I constantly think about them and pray for their well-being. Nowadays with the advance in telecommunications, it is very easy to connect with people who live far, so there is no excuse to not do so.
However, the goodbye can still be painful if we don’t see it as temporary and if we didn’t enjoy the most of the time together when we were together. I always try my best to spend time with them when I return there.
So, for me, goodbyes are not really a big deal, because I know internally that I’m doing my best in every moment and growing my connections with the ones I care more. And I’m not selfish to think that they will always be there, because I know that a final goodbye will arrive sometime in the future. If you came reading to this point, I suggest you see your relationships with this perspective: are you doing the most possible to not regret when they leave you forever? Are you creating meaningful relationships and nurturing them as a precious gift? Think about it and make your own conclusions.
I want to be remembered as someone who lived an intense life and made the difference in other people’s lives. And hopefully I will live past the 80 years old, at least I’m preparing myself physically and mentally for that, although we never know for sure what can happen to us tomorrow. For that reason, I always tell my friends that I want a big party at my funeral. I want this moment to be celebrated with as much energy and respect as if I was still alive. Just remember how energetic and enthusiastic I was when alive. Of course, this final goodbye can be more or less painful for people who are close to me, but that’s why I say that we should do what we want now. Don’t wait until it’s too late to do so.
Life is a journey and we don’t know where the next station is. Maybe someone interesting will enter and we will give them a warm welcome, or maybe someone very dear to us will leave. Do what you can now because every moment is the right moment.
